Category: Uncategorized

2nd Debate Lineup Talk: How the Democratic Cats stack up

Only CNN could look at the history of live reveals (see: The Decision, the NBA Awards, March Madness Bracket Reveal, etc.) and say “Hey we need to get into this game”. They were even so paranoid after the whole Donna Brazille tipping off Clinton before the primaries debate thing, that they made multiple camera angles to prove there was no foul play. Now that that issue is settled, Here are the lineups (28 mins more efficient than CNN)

NIGHT 1

  • Bernie Sanders
  • Elizabeth Warren
  • Pete Buttigieg
  • Beto O’Rourke
  • Amy Kloubachar,
  • John Hickenlooper
  • Steve Bullock
  • John Delaney
  • Tim Ryan
  • Marianne Williamson

This night will be billed as SANDERS vs. WARREN: THE BATTLE FOR PROGRESSIVE HEARTS. IMO the real focus of the night is to see if Pete Buttigeg can put Beto out his misery and end his campaign by taking the horny suburban mom demographic. The rest of the candidates are………well lets just say I’d rather watch Wolf Blitzer narrate footage of me trying to talk to women.

Amy Kloubachar (disqualified for eating a salad with a comb) John Hickenlooper (can never live up to the expectations of the Hickenlooper name) Steve Bullock (Had the impossible task of getting people to care about Montana) John Delaney/Tim Ryan (do i really have to list a reason?) Marianne Williamson (need a reality show in the works by the real election)

Night 2

  • Kamala Harris
  • Joe Biden
  • Cory Booker
  • Julian Castro
  • Tulsi Gabbard
  • Jay Inslee
  • Bill DeBlasio
  • Kirsten Gillibrand
  • Andrew Yang
  • Michael Bennet

HARRIS VS. BIDEN ROUND 2 will most likely be over-hyped buttttt this could be Harris’s chance to put Biden in the Home for good. After the headliners you get to a much more interesting undercard than night 1. Booker vs. Castro, to me, feels like the scene in The Dark Knight where the joker tells two guys there’s only room for one of them and drops a broken pool stick on the ground. Except of course instead of murdering each other with pool sticks they’ll probably just have a contest to see who would get a better grade in high school spanish. I actually find Tulsi Gabbard, Jay Inslee, and Andrew Yang very interesting candidates but I fear DeBlasio, Bennet, and Gillibrand will just out yell them all night.

*Side note* the fact that these networks don’t cut people’s mics is a complete joke**

P.S. if you were wondering why I referred to the candidates as “cats” in the headline. The answer is Cats just dropped the creepiest trailer of all time and Im trying to ride that wave #GottaGetThatSEO

Democrat’s Tax Embarrassment

It is now July and Democrats, who have controlled the House since January, still do not have President Trump’s tax returns. Thanks to a 1924 law


It is now July and Democrats, who have controlled the House since January, still do not have President Trump’s tax returns. The law that states Congress can request any tax return from the IRS comes from a 1924 law resulting from the TeaPot Dome scandal. (POP Quiz: Is the Teapot Dome a bribery scandal involving oil or a sexual harassment case scandal involving Beast and a certain singing TeaPot?). Its such an open and shut case even the Democrats couldn’t screw this up right? Here’s Nancy Pelosi talking about it before the last midterms

” one of the first things we’d do — that’s the easiest thing in the world. That’s nothing”

After Democrats took back the House and Pelosi became Speaker again it should be done right? It was so easy there’s no way they couldv’e screw it up. Lets look at the factsList

  • It took Democrats Four (4) (IV) months to even ask for them
  • Treasury Secretary refused to give them over even though the Democrats so nicely kept extending the deadline
  • They issued a subpoena for them on May 17th
  • Its July, they still don’t have them and they refuse to fine/arrest the Treasury Secretary for violating the subpoena

So even when Democrats only try to do something “that’s the easiest thing in the world” they still manage to lose like the spineless cowards they are.

Ranking 2020 Dems before First Debate

The first democratic debate is tonight and the undercard first night features a heavy lineup of contenders like Elizabeth Warren. With 10 people on the stage i’m sure each candidate will have a lot of time 60 seconds to describe their ideas and visions for the country. Comcast MSNBC is hosting which means there will be tough and thoughtful questions from radical leftists such as Lester Holt and Savannah Guthrie. Chuck Todd will be there even though my sources still have not located a single person that gives a shit what he has to say. A person familiar with the situation even told us, on the condition of anonymity, that the Todd household mutes the TV when Chuck is speaking. Rachel Maddow will be joining the 2nd hour of the debate which is welcome news for insomniacs and people who still have #ImWithHer in their twitter bio.

Without further (freddy) adu, here is the official ranking of the candidates pre-debate:

Front Runners

Sanders and Warren are the darlings of the left’s base which tends to help in a primary. Sanders has the grassroots support and infrastructure from his 2016 race and can rightfully claim that most of the others candidates are riding the wave he started. Pocahontas Warren has risen by bukkake-ing the public with plans. She seems to have a plan for everything but the most important one, imo, is her plan to win.

Second Tier

The Second tier candidates all hope to be this year’s Ted Cruz. At one time or another these candidates were media darlings. Kamala Harris started strong but her main issue might be her prosecutor past. Will her decision to not prosecute moive villian/treasury secretary Munchkin hurt her? Did she lock up too many parents of truant children who might’ve voted for her? We will see. Beto and Mayor Pete are also looking to make some inroads but the biggest tests for them will be expanding their bases beyond horny middle aged women and priests looking for someone a little more “mature”.

Joe Biden

The democratic establishment and media have been working tirelessly to make Biden as strong as they can. Non-stop polls, referring to him as the most “electable”, and assuming he will be the nominee is what you get from cable news. The biggest challenges for Biden however, will be his record and any time he opens his mouth. My prediction is that Biden is this year’s Jeb Bush. Someone who ran on their name, got pumped up by establishment, media, big money but it won’t be enough.

The Rest

Who cares.

Biggest Mueller Report Takeaway: Democrats are still huge pussies

Afters months and months of Democratic leadership claiming they needed to wait for Mueller report before making a judgment on impeachment (ignoring the numerous reports claiming illegal behavior, the President already being an unindicted co-conspirator and all the obstruction that took place in plain sight). Now that the (redacted version) of the Mueller Report has been released laying out the connections between members of the Trump campaign and Russian nationals as well as Trump’s numerous attempts to slow or dismantle the investigation. Even after this report was released the Democrats are still unwilling to do anything.

Steny Hoyer came out saying that impeachment is “not worthwhile” after seeing the report (echoing something Nancy Pelosi previously said). Hoyer wants to let the American public decide in the 2020 election. Today’s political landscape is increasingly impossible to parody and the Democratic leadership’s cartoonish levels of cowardice is one example. The courage of the Democratic Leadership makes the lion from the Wizard of Oz look like a fucking Achilles/Rambo hybrid by comparison. Even without the Mueller Report, the President was an unindicted co-conspirator in the campaign finance violations Michael Cohen was caught up in. There are also shocking levels of corruption with the Trump properties seemingly selling influence and allowing the President to profit off his position.

Instead of making that argument, along with the findings of the Mueller report, the Democrats are pussying out of the situation and shifting the responsibility to voters. Not only is this cowardly and an abdication of power, its also politically stupid. By not making the case against the President the Democrats seemingly concede the main tensions during the majority of this President. In addition, Democrats don’t have a great recent track record of making their case to voters and they will undoubtedly have more trouble if after 4 years of arguing about how horrible Trump is, they ignore the findings and refuse to impeach him for criminal actions.

If the Democratic leadership had any balls or will to make their case, they would have already started impeachment proceedings, they would issue way more subpoenas and not be trigger shy in issuing them, and they would try to impeach Barr and show how he is not objective or up to the standard of an Attorney General.

Now its no surprise to anyone who pays attention to politics that Democrats are rolling over like this but maybe they will face enough pressure to surprise everyone.

ATTN MEDIA: Take Howard Schultz’s name off your lips

I’m gonna start this by saying two obvious things; Howard Schultz, IF he decides to run will gain less than little support and the media is dumb. Apparently Schultz/Starbucks have big enough name recognition for the sex-crazed star-fuckers at TMZ D.C to talk about as if there isn’t (no hyperbole) infinitely more important things to cover. Clearly they haven’t learned their lesson from the last time they gave too much air time to a billionaire whose campaign started as a joke. Why do these, alleged, “news organizations” have to talk about someone whose only possible constituency are people who actually seek serious political commentary from Morning Joe or don’t understand the irony of this tweet:

Classic example of the pot calling the kettle the n word (thats the expression right???)

This freaking out over Schultz’s possible run is not only stupid (both using logic and past history) but also the perfect example of the media giving attention to dumb things that don’t deserve it. If a billionaire wants to blow his money doing something dumb that’s just good ol capitalism. But it shouldn’t be national news.